| T |
his week I am thinking about sexual harassment and date rape drugs. It seems to me that if you are a half way decent looking woman; and sometimes this is not even necessary, you cannot go out to a bar without being harassed by men. Why is this? Even if we dress in our holey old clothes it happens. Las week a close friend of mine went out with her sister to celebrate her upcoming wedding. They had not even been in the bar for five minutes before a group of guys started hitting on my friend. She made it clear to them that she was not interested but they would not leave her alone. (Okay guys who might read this, no means no, have you forgotten?) After in during this for about fifteen my friend tried to move away from them but they followed her and somehow managed to drug her drink. God only knows where she would be today if her sister had not noticed them trying to get her out the front door. Not understanding what had happened, her sister just put my friend and drove home thinking perhaps she had had too much to drink. The next day however they discussed the incident and my friend had only one beer. So, tell me what did she do to deserve being treated this way?
The only thing she is guilty of is being a good looking woman. This type of harassment needs to stop. Men need to know we are not just out here for them to do with and treat as they please. I wonder what men would do if we started drugging them when they do not act like we want or expect them to act. Please do not misunderstand me; I know not all men are like this and that there are women out there already drugging men, you just do not hear about that as often. I just wish it could be safe and harassment for my friends and me when we go out. Unless more women start standing up and saying “NO” to this type of behavior, it will never happen.
September 14, 2009 at 11:57 pm |
I often wonder why people assume that if you are at a bar, you are looking for someone. I often go out with my friends for “girls night out.” Like you, we ultimately get someone who wants to sit at our table and hit on people. We usually ask them to leave, as we are enjoying the company of people we love but do not see very often. Some people get offended, but most seem okay and move to another table. We have relocated bars, though, because someone wouldn’t leave us alone. I have never understood why so many men think everything women do is about them. If I want to dress up and go out with my friends, it isn’t because I am hoping to go home with a stranger! My friends and I go to gay bars more often than not, because we know that we can relax and have a good time with little worries. It is sad that this is the case, it really is.
I’m glad your friend is okay, and that she has friends who look out for her!
September 17, 2009 at 5:02 pm |
I also have had friends drugged at bars and parties/frat houses, they happen to be of the male and female sex. While he happen to end up being fine, she was taken and assaulted by a man. Unfortunately this is the society that we live in, and as a female we have to realize that there are sick people out there that want to take advantage of us. The only thing that we can do is be aware of the dangers, and be prepared for anything. I will say that it should have been obvious to your friend that these guys had an anterior motive than just hitting one her, simply because of the fact that they were ‘stalking her’ and would not leave her alone. In most normal situations guys will leave you alone after you shut them down for the first or if they are very persistent the second time, so any weird behavior should send up a red flag that something is not right. Second if the bars that you are going to are a haven so such forward men then maybe you should change your scene and try bars that are lower key. But females that are not aware of the risks that they are taking by going out alone, or even going out to have a single drink at a bar or such, are setting themselves up to be taken advantage of by creepers. While I wish that things were not this way but they are, and the only thing that we can do about is to educate ourselves, and think situations through.